FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION...FREEDOM OF SPEECH...OH WELL!

Tough when you can't express how you feel...and say what you want to say freely. Hmmm! Well, nothing much can be done but to abide. Anyways, on a lighter note...would like to update on d Light of my life; Arissa Sofea.

Arissa's updates as at 23 April 2010 (Friday):

Age: 2 years & 3 weeks old

Height: 80 cm

Weight: 15 kg

Arissa is growing up really fast & is now able to:

- Recognize shapes; triangle, square, circle

- Recognize colours; PINK, purple, blue, yellow, orange, red

- Point out & identify animals especially her fav ones; cat, horse, tiger, squiyel (squirrel),

  yat (rat) & many others

- Sing along ABC right up to Z

- Count 1 till 10!

- Identify 'UPIN & IPIN' when she sees them in magazines/ tv & right away say...'Betul2'!

  (in Upin & Ipin's tone, but less by one 'betul' ;p)

- Arissa is friendly & LOVES to make friends with kids her age whenever she sees

  one...tak  kire in the lift, or at d pool, or at d park, at shopping malls to...Good 

  girl kawan semua orang! 

- Likes to say 'makan' while pushing back Mummy's hand to mummy's mouth if she refuse  

  to eat her food. Her way of saying  - 'I dont wna eat mummy, you eat it'.

- Arissa loves to swim/ play around in the pool at home tapi kesian dia takde geng nak  

  main...she gets bored after a while coz main sorang2 & prefers to look at other kids in

  the pool

- Loves to say...'Ayer, water' (Dua2 sekali when referring to water)

- Obsessed with Barney!!! For now mummy only managed to get for baby, Barney's water tumbler & CDs (Every single minute watch d 3 CDs interchangeably smpai ada yg da stuck2) . Been looking around for d medium sized soft toy but tak jumpe lagi. Only d huge talking one available & cost RM180! Insya'Allah klau mummy ada rezeki lebih, will get for you yer baby...Siann baby mummy!

- Arissa is also very attached to mummy nowadays. Baru ilang kejap pegi dapur dah jerit/ nangis carik mummy. Mummy masuk toilet pun, nangis jgak...nak masuk toilet. Basically kene nmpak 'kelibat' mummy..kalau tak nangis. On top of dat, Arissa loves to hug & kiss mummy every now and then. Best sangat! Terasa diri is very much needed & appreciated...on TOP OF THE WORLD feeling ;)

Will update more later...Mummy's lil gal is growing up really FAST!

GUILTY As Charged!

I feel really sorry for my lil gal coz she has been SOOOO deprieved of mummy's attention & affection...all due to WORK! On Monday, 29 March 2010 dropped off Arissa @ ibu's house before leaving for work as always. Suprisingly, when I passed her to ibu...she turned & grabbed me while crying 'Mummy'! She cling on & hugged my legs and requested me to carry her. This has never happen before...I was confused. Nape anak mummy ni?

Then, I figured...she must be missing me a LOT! Been coming home late daily...average of 9pm and working like a DOG on both Saturdays & Sundays till late evening too. I was filled with GUILT to d MAX...Kesian sangat baby mummy. She's also been quite clingy these few weeks.

Hmmm....Mummy will try to make up for all d times lost nanti ye baby ;) Meantime, mummy has no choice but to work like a Bull. Whatever it is, MUMMY LOVES YOU VERY MUCH BABY!

MUACKS...Hugs & Kisses ;*

1 Month Anniversary ;)

Been soo bogged down with Annual Report & work...just dont have time to update on my life updates. Nways, feels just like yesterday we we packing & getting all excited to shift to our new house. Fretting everytime we had to travel back to our house in Puchong...coz rase tak sampai2 - jauh!

Time flies really with a capital 'F'...We moved in to our new house @ Villawangsamas (VW)on 27 Feb 2010 (Saturday) and last week 27 March(also a Saturday) was exactly one month as permanent residents at VW. And so far, baru sekali je managed to go for a swim...gym - tak sempat jenguk pun lagi coz been working late daily till 9/9ish at nite. Oh boy, hopefully when d dreaded Annual Report production I would have my 'life' back!!!

Back to d story of our home sweet home...still havent managed 2 go scouting for a suitable carpet for our living room. Sorry Tok Jan, we havent had d time to go (My uncle; Pak Jan would like to buy us a gift for our new home...so, I requested for a carpet). We are also looking for a nice painting to brighten up our living area coz our theme is Black & White...

Feels good to be home after a full day work...ah yes, i lurve 'Penchala Link' & 'DUKE' coz it only takes 15 minutes to go home from the agency @ Damansara Perdana to W. Maju...YIPEE!


On another note, FINALLY got my hp repaired fully last Saturday too. So, more than a month too without my hp camera. Am so happy...can snap3 again ;)

Hurt...

Had quite a rough day on Sunday...all things dat cud go wrong, went wrong! And it got worst when d person whom u most expected to give support & motivation when things get rough...was d one who actually let u down and left u being demotivated. SAD!

Hmm, will certainly not forget dat day and yeah, I still 'kecik ati' with dat person :( & d person doesnt know...

DOWN?!@*

Been feeling VERY MUCH "UNDER THE WEATHER" work-wise. Sangat tak bemotivasi tahap "GABAN"! Seriously its really BAD! Gotta dragggg myself out of bed every working day & dread the feeling when urs truly's office is in sight...SIGH!!! Still at d same old division, with d same old "drama" kings & queens & ultimate "DIVA" and not to forget the never ending "DRAMA" daily with MR X. Makes things super-duper BAD for me...


Request to transfer division was turned down, reason being "wait till evaluation period ends"...In my head, was thinking TO HELL WITH EVALUATION...I just WANT OUT! That simple, its not like I'm ever guaranteed a '4' out of '5' evaluation anyways. Wud expect d same usual '3' as per d past 3 damn years or paling teruk a '2'. I cudnt care less!


Oh boy, no point ranting panjang2 pun coz am still stuck at this 'HELL HOLE'!


Can only pray that a miracle would happen soon Insya'Allah God-willing...AMIN!

Insensitive...yet again!

Was not feeling too well since last nite- slight sore throat, lil bit of flu & aching body. Also, yesterday of all the nights, Arissa choose to wake up more than 3 times for milk! The final call, 7am just now mummy just cudnt stand it & asked ayah to help prepare Arissa's milk.

Despite bein unwell, still got up & cooked for Mr Hubby - 1 of his fave lauk 'Ikan masak Asam pedas'. So, while doin dat d least dat Mr Hubby cud do was help to bathe Arissa. On top of that, Arissa will always be restless if her pampers are way too soggy aready / she's done with her 'poop'-ing biz. Mase mummy masak Arissa pun da stat uneasy & pulled me - mintak to be bathed. But Mr Hubby who choose 2 be ignorant at dat time...just continued with watching tv.

So, in between cooking I rushed to bathe Arissa in a jiffy while Mr Hubby still continued watching sampaila I myself was done with having my bath.Yg geramnyer, Mr Hubby dari bangun pagi sampaila I da siapkan lunch did not even bother once to ask - How was I feeling? Or was I feeling better? coz he knew last nite that I told him I dont feel well. And yeah, d fact dat he didnt bother 2 wake up & help bancuh Arissa milk when Arissa screamed frantically 3 times last nite...lagi makes me SUPER MADDD! Like how INCONSIDERATE can you be? Guess men will always be MEN sometimes...

Now Mr Hubby is out without informing me where he wants to go? So not him...Guess dia malas nk be at home coz I membebel bout him bein inconsiderate. Oh well, cant we women just have what we require especially when we're not well?...not much to ask, just some LOVE & ATTENTION rite! Looks like I'll just have to 'Nurse' myself & hope for a speedy recovery...Insya'Allah. And yeah, God give me patience to go thru this phase of 'Unwanted-ness'.

SCAPEGOAT !!!

Been SUPER LONG since I last updated...so many things been happening. Boss's mum passed away...had to handle a few events single-handedly. Was definately DAMN & DARN tiring!!!

On top of that, had to cover other work & handle...if only I had 8 hands like Mr Squid!

Besides that some fire-fighting dramas @ work...Urghhh, DRAMA3!

Life's like that aint it? All d above I can tolerate & work my way through, but when you are choosen to be d SCAPEGOAT- just because ur d 'smallest fish' in the pond & d 'BIG Kahuna' is 'ALWAYS right'...you 'fortunately' blamed...tongue-lashed at with words like 'STUPID'!...'Dont know how you guys work here'...bla3, and it gets worst when you choose to stay silent coz no matter what you say you are 'WRONG' (In the Kahuna's eyes dat is)! It's too MUCH...especially when you get to know some time later thru ur boss that BIG Kahuna admitted that she was actually WRONG and you get all the 'F_C_ing' CRAP SHIT for nuthin! Just because I'm d 'small fish'! 

DAMN YOU BIG KAHUNA!!!!

 

LONELINESS...EMPTINESS!

Not sure if its just me or memang true but I SOO FEEL LONELY & EMPTY these few days.

Well, Mr Hubby hasnt been paying much attention to me (seriously, I feel this!). I know he's tired & all dat (Im tired out too), tends to doze off early till we dont get d chance to catch up on daily happenings/ spend quality time just d 2 of us (dahla si kecik suke tido lambat skrg). 


Most times, its me staying up late till d lil ones dozes off to sleep (once she finally went to sleep @ 2.30, mind you), while Mr Hubby dah in slumber-land mode...SIGH!!! Pastu, next morning I'de be d one 2 wake up first & prepare for d day.


Did mention to him dat I feel "unloved" but reply was, camne lagi nk tunjuk smue da tolong u buat...No doubt he helps with "lipat"-ing d laundry, washes d toilets, etc but sometimes its just not dat kan. I need to FEEL LOVED!!! Showing of affection, cuddling & wateva else ROMANTIC dat makes you feel loved. And yes, this does not include watching tv together till tau2 Mr Hubby dah tido & me and lil one still wide awake! Oh well..."Feelings...Ow-oh-oh Feelings".

Despicable...Insensitive...Inconsiderate & all other similar adjectives!!!

Last Thursday nite (29 Oct 09), already had d feeling dat I was gona be down with fever. Was feeling hot at times & at times shivering with cold. Told myself I cannot afford to be sick coz there's SOO MUCH to do @ d office the following day especially since 'beloved boss' wont be around.

Early wee hours of Friday morning (30 Oct 09), felt my head heavy & floaty at the same time...body ached terribly...felt really cold too. Told Mr Hubby dont think can go to work. So, before I continued sleeping I was typing sms to boss - to inform him that Im unwell & wud be on MC. However, d fever & dizziness was bad dat I fell asleep again while typing the sms.

Shortly @ appx 8.58am my hp rang but still heavy headed I just couldnt bring myself 2 answer d phone. Hp rang again frantically 5 times (looked at d screen & well what dat u know...dat person rang). Immediately after I answered, without hesitation & in d expected annoyed tone; he asked "You kat mane?". I said "kat umah -demam".

Then, as expected for the umpteenth time his reaction "La, demam?..OK LA"! (Still in d much annoyed tone". Then, slammed d phone down. I was like - DUHHH! Its not by choice dat I intend to be ill!! And yeah, didnt expect him to say "Get well soon" oso nways. But at least be a lil bit more courteous & sensitive to your subordinates - We're human too you know! Just because your d BOSS doesnt make any exception that you may treat others insensitively & of NO VALUE! Just pray dat one day "yours truly" will get taste of "his own medicine", AMIN!

Oh well, dats one of d situations dat I had & will have to bear for the past 2 years & hopefully not for long any more. Time to move on to somewhere we the grass would be greener for me Insya'Allah. Pray for me...